What to do about Oliver

[Kellie]

Okay, Im starting to worry about my lovie Oliver. Iv had him for about two months now, hes still getting less and less tame. Ill talk to him every day and open the cage door for him 3 or 4 times a week to see if he wants out to get some exercise. He just seems so lonley. He dosent play with any of his toys, its depressing. He'll spend a lot of the days squaking to the budgies who are on a differnt floor. Any suggestions?

[linda040899]

3-4 times/week?????????? Lovebirds are very social birds and you should be doing this daily, not weekly!

Linda L.

[BirdGirl]

Your lovies need a buddie or a mirroir to ply with he prolably is sad from your other lovie is gone try getting a other lovies

[Kellie]

I know lovebirds are social birds... but he never ever wants to come out. Iv tried tempting him with millet but he'll crab the millet and drag it into his cage. He used to come out but has been doing it less and less. Its really weird, im spending pretty constant amounts of time with him but hes getting progressivly less tame. First time he was out he sat on my finger and let me pet him. Now im lucky if he comes out flys to the window and back to his cage.

[linda040899]

Attention, attention and more attention. That's the only way I know to tame a lovebird and keep it that way. You may want to wait until the lighting is dim and use a dowel to take him out of his cage. If his flight feathers aren't clipped, you may want to have 5-6 clipped on each wing. That will make him dependent on you when he wants to go somewhere.

Mirrors are not the answer. Lovebirds will bond to the reflection in the mirror and that will make the problem 200 times worse.

Linda L.

[Kellie]

Yeah im deffinatly not going with mirrors. I also cant get a hold of him to clip him. One of the reasons hes been so difficult to tame is because his flights grew in shortly after i got him.

[linda040899]

You may have to let your vet or local pet shop do the clipping. Trying to tame him while he is fully flighted is mission improbable, although not impossible.

Linda L.

[candi33]

you definetely need to at least open his door EVERYDAY for a few hours and sit and talk with him and let him get used to you. Don't rush him, let him come on his own. He is probably VERY lonely and frustrated. I would just get some toys for the top of his cage that he can only play with if he's out, then open his door everyday and just sit by his cage doing something and talking to him. Read a story or something to him, it will get him used to your voice. Also, put your hands in the cage a little more often, everyday put your hands in his cage and touch some of the things in there. This will get him used to your smell first of all and he'll learn that your hands are not evil. Don't grab for him or try to touch him at all, keep away from him but just touch some of his things, change his water 3 or 4 times a day if you have to, leave a treat in there for him. Eventually he'll come around. Remember, you have to gain his trust first, he's lost that cause you don't spend NEARLY enough time with him. he needs to know that you are part of his flock and love him. Let him get comfy around you and then progress to something else. Otherwise he might resent you if you try to handle him too much right now when he doesn't trust you.

[Oh Mowsie]

Also.. if you can't clip his wings.. take him to a trustworthy pet shop or vet to have it done. If you're uncomfortable "toweling him" to get him out of the cage to put him into a smaller carrier, then load him up, cage and all. An experienced bird handler will know how to get him out.

[BolieleBirdLover]

My lovebird, Saffron, wasn't tame at all when I first got him. When his cage mate died it took a long while for him to get used to me. Even when he wasn't tame I would leave the cage open so he could fly around the room. What broke the ice for us was when I was sitting on my bed reading a book and I guess he got really interested in the turning pages. So, he ran over and chewed hole in the page! After that he loves sitting on my shoulder as I am doing things in my room. He has even gotten to the point where if I leave my room and forget to close the door, he flies out looking for me. (Thats when Loki tattles and screeches till I come to see whats wrong. Loki has his wings clipped and can't go flying to find me too, but usually you will spot him waddling down the hall )

Sit near his cage and make a big deal about playing with paper (ripping it up, twisting it, ect.) and make him want to come out to see what the deal is. He'll want to come play with the paper sooner or later!

It just takes time for him to see that it would be fun to sit on your shoulder and be around you!

[Towlie]

bite the bullet, grab him with a towel hold his head and get someone spread out the wing and lop off a few feathers. You need to show your lovebird who is boss, you need to start taking him out of the cage, if he so much as nibbles on your finger you gently grab his beek with one hand and flip lay him on his back in your other hand, when a lovebird has gone this far you must force it to submit. If he thinks you are his subordinate then you arent going to be able to persuade him to do anything. once you establish dominance he will learn to behave on your terms. Lovebirds can be difficult, but with their small size they are physically controllable. Although it is easy for me to say as lovie bites don't even hurt me any more.

[BolieleBirdLover]

if he so much as nibbles on your finger you gently grab his beek with one hand and flip lay him on his back in your other hand, when a lovebird has gone this far you must force it to submit. If he thinks you are his subordinate then you arent going to be able to persuade him to do anything. once you establish dominance he will learn to behave on your terms. Lovebirds can be difficult, but with their small size they are physically controllable

I do not agree with that at all. When you react to a bite, they know they are getting their way. When they bite you just pretend like nothing happened. Just because they are small doesn't mean you should physical do something to them. That can make them more afraid of you by doing that. All they see is this huge thing turning them on their backs and making them do what they want. Some birds see beak grabbing as a form of "i love you be my mate" and would get confused. Just ignore the bite, no matter how hard it is.

They are not dogs where you flip them over on their backs to show you are dominate. You have to be nice to them and show them that your nice. Not be some big meanie and force them onto their back. (I taught Saffron to go onto his back after he liked and trusted me)

Doing that can totally set you back on how he trusts you. You don't want your bird to be scared into liking you. You want them to like you on their own terms. Nice and gentle is the only way!

[candi33]

I disagree to with the dominance thing. You need to get his trust first. It's not that the birds trying to show dominance over you cause he wants to, it's instinct and he's scared of you. I doubt he's really biting at this moment to show dominance, it's just b/c he's scared that your going to hurt him so he's trying to seem like he's more tough than he actually is so that you'll leave him alone. You need to get his trust first, and you don't get that by physically making him do stuff for you, he'll hate you if you do that. Yes, clip his wings or get someone to clip them but after that, don't make him do anything. He's terrified of you right now, remember that. You have to be friends first before he'll try to dominate you, you have to be apart of his flock for him to want to dominate you. Right now I imagine he just wants you to leave his cage alone cause he feels secure there, it's his 'room' and territory.

[Caique Crazy]

ok i dont agree with that at all and ill take a quote from dani

birds respond to good praise not bad punishment.

in other words praise the bird when hes not biting and just ignore it if it is. it will defiantly soon learn that if he doesnt bite hes being good.

[linda040899]

You need to show your lovebird who is boss

I strongly disagree with this statement! Birds are very intelligent creatures and you need to understand them in order to gain their trust. You may force them into submission but that will not get you the kind of companion that you are looking for! Animals will respond to love, kindness and patience. To control by fear is wrong and I, personally, consider it to be inhumane. This is not advice to be taken seriously.

Linda L.

[Kellie]

I completly agree with Linda L, I want him to trust me.. not fear me. I talked to him for awhile yesturday and he didnt seem to mind, its hard coming up with things to say tho. When I put my hands in the cage just to do the touching his stuff thing he was nervous but didnt run to the corner of his cage which is a good sign.

[linda040899]

While it may take Oliver time to learn that you don't intend to hurt him, the time invested will be well worth it. It takes time for humans to trust other humans. It's no different with our birds. Things don't happen overnight, even though we sometimes wish they would. Patience............................

The fact that Oliver allowed you to put your hand in HIS home and he didn't get overly nervous is a step in the right direction. While this may not happen again the next time you try it, persistence will get you what you want. Go slowly, as that is how trust is earned.

Linda L.

[Kellie]

Im just getting impatient because I ususally have a way with birds and it dosent take nearly this long. My last lovebird puck was tame in two days. Two of my budgies the day they were brought home. Another one of my budgies who I bought just lived in a cage with another budgie. I had her tame in 2 weeks which was pretty good considering she was never hand tame and lived with another budgie. The bird I bought her with never did tame but thats okay... hes insane. As for Oliver Iv put my hand in his cage about 8 times today just humming or gently talking to him. A couple times he looked like he was gunna jump down to his food dish but whenever he seemed to be getting uncomfortable Id just back away.

[linda040899]

I have a neglected macaw that I've been working with since 1992 and I still don't have her complete trust~ Each bird is different and you have to allow them to be different.

Linda L.

[Kellie]

I know... my budige are as different as night, day and... ugh midafternoon! By the way, thanks Linda for all your help so far.

[Towlie]

I have never had a lovebird that was afraid of me after I disciplined him. I am mearly setting boundries it's like a birdie time out. After thinking about it I can see how this should probably be considered a last option for your personnal pet. When I do this I am trying to teach my babies what is allowed and not allowed. It helps them get along in their new families. I have kept track of all the baby lovies I have sold (I try not to let my birds have very many because its so hard on them) and none so far none have had significant problems all are loved members of thier families and some are even good with small children.

[Kellie]

Yeah, for me... I havent gotten to the point where thats really possible. Even while Im trying to tame him he hasent done anything wrong. And Im not going to just do something to shows Im dominate while hes already afraid of me.

[Towlie]

If he is afraid of you then you just need to spend a lot of time earning his trust. Open his cage to see if he will come out on his own and mabey interact verbally with him. I thought you just had a little stinker who thinks he can push you around.

[candi33]

It's really good what you are doing so far, just keep that up and he will learn to trust you. It's very good that you are backing away when he looks like he's about to run away, if you don't he might feel that he HAS to run away to get you to back off if he's not in the mood, so keep doing what you are doing and he will come around eventually.

[Kellie]

Today he came out... sorta. I opened his cage door drawbrdige style (rested it on his food bag) and put some millet on the door and sat on the floor and waited. I usually lay on my bed at the other side of the room while he does this but I decided to up the anty a bit. I was about a foot away but a foot or so down from him when I had to stop and go for dinner. I think were doing pretty well. Hes deffinatly not terrified of me. Yay.