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  1. #1
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    As we know, you have to be so careful about who you're showing babies to, and get references -- and especially you have to keep your wits against these d@mn illiterate Nigerian scam artists! (THE ADS SAY "NO SHIPPING!!! WTF?!)

    Then recently, I began thinking: they no doubt have a small team of "experts" who decode each message that I send them with fastidious attention to meaning and detail. I have started a separate email account that I don't mind having spammed, and I'm letting the fur fly. Below is an example of a great new sport that I call: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    -----Original Message-----
    From: johnnicholascompany@yahoo.com
    To: Psittacular@netzero.net
    Sent: Fri, 13 Oct 2006 11:36 PM
    Subject: AM INTERESTED IN YOUR .........................Dutch Blue Lovebirds, taking deposits
    Hello My name is Mr John Nicholas, i saw your advert place on the Internet,that you want to sell Dutch Blue Lovebirds, taking ,.............extremely well preserved which i am highly interested in it I have a shipper who takes care of the shipment, so shipping will not pose any problem,but before payment will be made i need to be sure of who i will be dealing with if you are going to be honest and sincere throughout the transaction. So to start with, signify your interest by forwarding to me your last offer as well , after which we can continue with the transaction and i promise if all conditions and agreement are accepted and reached on time, payment will be made out almost immediately.hoping to hear from you as soon as possible.Kinldy let me know whether is still available or not.
    Respectfully.
    Mr John Nicholas....

    (Copy of original response from myself to sleazy Nigerian cashiers cheque forger)

    Would you prefer the carcass stuffed or unstuffed? I think that unstuffed is more dignified, but if you elect to have it stuffed, I could erect it on a pedestal, maybe in a "bird-of-prey" pose, with one foot lifted, like it's about to swoop in and ambush a mouse. Yes? No? I kindly respectfully hope that payment will immediately make all conditions and hear from me agreementwise now, meesohorny. I prefer payment in cashiers cheque.

    ( Let's see what he has to say back!)
    Last edited by Roscoe's Mom; 10-19-2006 at 10:55 AM. Reason: formatting showed

  2. #2
    Rent this space today! Baby DevinBre's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    I highly doubt that a nigerian scam artist would try to get some lovebirds. They aim for large sums of money that are conned to them from people hoping to get their 'inheritance money', or link you to offsite 'paypal' sites to buy large ticket electronics.

    What makes you think Nigerian?

  3. #3
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    I'm not sure about the nigerian scam artists as well,

    they do tend to aim at large sums of money in paypal, as Devin stated.

    On another note, Hi devin! Been awhile.

  4. #4
    All Hail Hypnotoad Teenager ZoologyGirl's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    want to see some fun with Nigerian scam artists....

    www.ebolamonkeyman.com
    funny stuff!

    Anyway, I can vouch for their possibility at buying anything!
    I don't know how many people here have heard of 'internet relay" for the deaf...lets just hypothetically say i'm associated with internet relay and scammers use this system to scam people...and lets hypothetically say i know how the scammers operate over this...hypothetically of course if anyone asks...this conversation never took place.

    Anyway, scammers will try to buy just about anything...tires, blood pressure monitors, gold chains, skf bearings, trailers, vehicles, diabetic test strips, puppies, cats, birds, etc..etc... this list goes on.

    they [hypothetically of course] will usually call businesses and use stolen credit cards to buy things. However, they will also call people they find on craigs list, etc... that are selling things and will contact them cause they want to buy it. When they do this they will often send a money order and a few things will usually happen. The money order is a counterfeit and they will keep calling you and telling you to send the item right when you get the money order (always get the money order verified)....and often they will send an amount for like 1000 dollars more than the item is worth and tell you once you cash it to give the extra amount to "their shipper" along with the item purchased. then a little later you find your bank accounts frozen, cops calling, etc...because the money order turns out to be counterfeit and you are out 1000 dollars and the item.

    the worst thing i see is scammers using the pity party routine. they will get to know people on dating sites, and they will hit it off and the scammer will sit there saying "i love you honey dear babe honey babe" every other word is honey or babe...then they will start sayign their grandma is sick and send money please to help her blah blah blah it's all a sham and gullible people fall for it and send money....then the nigerian will call another person right after and once again pretend they love them and "honey dear babe" blah blah blah....half the conversation is about sending money, and the other half involves words like honey, babe, dear.

    They also like to use the word "kindly" a lot...and the phrase "i will like to"
    Of course...this is stuff i just heard....hypothetically...you know

    But seriously...you want a good laugh...go to that website. "Albert Fred" is one of my favorites...a lot are long...but the long ones are the funniest!....read "Albert Fred"!

    Here's an excerpt to get you laughing.....

    "You HAVE to use these words or else people will know what we are doing. From now on we are going to use code words for the following:

    the phrase "doing business" is now "break dancing" the word "bank account" will now be referred to as "Stephanie" all the following numbers will change:

    0 = x
    1 = purple
    2 = ^^
    3 = linebacker
    4 = bling bling
    5 = "It's nice outside"
    6 = <->
    7 = LIAR!
    8 = zero
    9 = zoro

    For exampel... I am ^^linebacker years old. (I am 23 years old).

    Please understand, this code is for you and I's protection.

    Now for the "Stephanie". I found my friend Ariel (Lord of Darkness)'s library card number for his "Stephanie". The number is x bling bling LIAR! "It's nice outside" zero purple purple "It's nice outside" ^^ x bling bling zoro <-> LIAR! "
    Last edited by ZoologyGirl; 10-19-2006 at 03:33 PM.

  5. #5
    hmmm. . . . Teenager Cruzade's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    I LOVE ebolamonkey! just so everyone knows, some are kind of vulgar. the one I read was about a woman in the adult film industry and it was definitely not PG 13.
    I spent a good 3 hours reading that!

    I'm too paranoid to interact with those guys, even though it looks fun. who knows what they are capable of, and it's not very hard to trace an IP address through an e-mail. I have done that and found some of those people don't even live in Nigeria.


  6. #6
    All Hail Hypnotoad Teenager ZoologyGirl's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    most are nigeria or ghana. of course you get your random uk or anywhere. they usually use proxy servers though.

    though I love when I get emails from them saying
    "kindly help me, sir"
    do I look like a sir to you??? lol

  7. #7
    hmmm. . . . Teenager Cruzade's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    I made the mistake of replying to one on my main email once, I now get 7 scam emails a day that bypass the spam filter.


  8. #8
    We love budgies! Brand New Egg SandyAndCheryl's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    We had one write to the studio, wanting to bring a massive bunch of musicians into the country. Of course, we had to provide visas! Anyway, we sent a reply back in the same style and even made it a feature on the studio's website.

    I've written back to them a few times... either to say "do you realise how old this scam is?!" or to cod them on (although no-one's bitten yet). I usually sign my name as "Albus Dumbledore".

    But the best sport of all is to be had here... this guy has made a career out of scamming the scammers! http://www.quatloos.com/brad-c/directory01.htm

    Enjoy!
    Sandy.

  9. #9
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by DevinBre View Post
    I highly doubt that a nigerian scam artist would try to get some lovebirds. They aim for large sums of money that are conned to them from people hoping to get their 'inheritance money', or link you to offsite 'paypal' sites to buy large ticket electronics.

    What makes you think Nigerian?
    The IP address, and the ISPs. Plus, just remembered this, they always send their MASSIVE influx of spam around 8 PM. I report them all now. The trick here is that they attempt to buy them all, then overpay in the form of a cashier's check that is so well forged, the bank can't tell for a while. They send you more money than the product is worth, and since it takes so long for the American bank to discover that the cashier's check is fake, you have already (naively) sent them the extra cash back. Then, suddenly, your birds are gone, your money is gone, and you own your bank the entire cost of the check that they wrote to you. They're the worst on the internet pet sites.

    I love this game. It's like, you can't even speak an American dialect! Why bother?! I have more. I will bring them as soon as I get back to the accounts. One begins "Your birds" and ends "Your puppies to my son in Wisconsin." Ooooooohhhh!
    Last edited by Roscoe's Mom; 10-20-2006 at 01:37 AM. Reason: Extra point: time

  10. #10
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    As a side note: I HAVE to believe that these people are African, because nobody English could write that badly -- could they? Could ... they ... ? hah hah ha ha ha --

    "Would you prefer the carcass stuffed or unstuffed? I think that unstuffed is more dignified, but if you elect to have it stuffed, I could erect it on a pedestal, maybe in a "bird-of-prey" pose, with one foot lifted, like it's about to swoop in and ambush a mouse.?"

    I can't get enough of that.

  11. #11
    Rent this space today! Baby DevinBre's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by born2budgie View Post
    I'm not sure about the nigerian scam artists as well,

    they do tend to aim at large sums of money in paypal, as Devin stated.

    On another note, Hi devin! Been awhile.
    Yeah, it's been a long time. I'll look around here from time to time, but I don't really post much anymore. Ah well.

    How have you been?

  12. #12
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Pretty good.

    Into the thick of pre-calc, so really bogged down with work, but oh well,
    can't complain.

  13. #13
    For the Love of all Birds Hatched! pitufina73's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    ohh i got one!
    i was actually reading the newspaper online on the classified section if someone had a cage for sale or another bird and suddenly my eye catch one article that said, a hyacinth macaw FOR FREE, so i emailed the guy and asked where he was (i thought he was in my city) how the ..... he was giving away a fancy parrot like the Hyacinth, i said to him i would love to have him but he actually need more room than a cage, why dont you donate to the local zoo....

    three days later he answer my email, and.... guess what? he was in Cameroon and he was moving away (didnt say where) and he needed desperately a person who can take care of his bird, then he said the bird is free you have to pay only the shipping! i got soooo mad, i answered him back and said i dont want to pay the shipping and i am against birds being shipped in boxes, they can die of stress or get sick, and he was planning to send the bird all the way from Cameroon to Florida???? when his email address was from CANADA!

    What a scam! im glad i didnt get tempted, i knew he was a crook!
    Visit my work's website!
    http://www.amazinglabels.com

  14. #14
    Moulting callisto9's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    i had fun with a nigerian/somewhere scam artist for almost a month once. her english got worse and worse as time went on. i had quite a good time with her! i got some pictures even! i made up all kinds of information...bank account # (which i said was 7), my name (mike oxlong - say it outloud) and that was coming to ghana in the near future. i kept her going for quite some time...then i make my emails a little incoherant, then i started asking a lot of questions and then i cursed them out and ended it when i got bored.

    there's also www.419eater.com - check it out.
    Mateo (cockatiel), Oliver (RIP, friend ), Mina (parakeet), Chirpa (parakeet), Nigel/la (parakeet), Nico (parakeet)

  15. #15
    All Hail Hypnotoad Teenager ZoologyGirl's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Hello kind sir. I am reverend paterson john (they get confused a lot and put the last name first). I will like to buy 5000 leather keyring for the orphanage. part number 2848-485-iz. I will kindly like to know how many you have instock. I will send my shipping company to pick it up. I will like you to kidnly email me how many are instock and the price plz.
    kind regards

    reverend paterson
    14 w street lagos, nigeria.

    ~Heather~
    "If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." - Juan Ramón Jiménez

  16. #16
    Rent this space today! Baby DevinBre's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by ZoologyGirl View Post
    Hello kind sir. I am reverend paterson john (they get confused a lot and put the last name first). I will like to buy 5000 leather keyring for the orphanage. part number 2848-485-iz. I will kindly like to know how many you have instock. I will send my shipping company to pick it up. I will like you to kidnly email me how many are instock and the price plz.
    kind regards

    reverend paterson
    14 w street lagos, nigeria.
    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! There's nothing I can say to that.

  17. #17
    Hatched! avecbleu's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by Roscoe's Mom View Post

    Would you prefer the carcass stuffed or unstuffed? I think that unstuffed is more dignified, but if you elect to have it stuffed, I could erect it on a pedestal, maybe in a "bird-of-prey" pose, with one foot lifted, like it's about to swoop in and ambush a mouse. Yes? No? I kindly respectfully hope that payment will immediately make all conditions and hear from me agreementwise now, meesohorny. I prefer payment in cashiers cheque.

    ( Let's see what he has to say back!)


    OMG, you are too funny, I can't stop giggling. Your message back totally caught me off guard. I love it.

    These guys are so annoying, but one time recently very helpful. I have an add in the peper for some pups I have for sale, and I got one of these emails, but the subject was interested in your Fish and Aquariums. I thought, huh, i don't even have any thing...then I realized oops wrong catagory, so I fixed it.


    Also about two weeks ago I got one of these people trying to scam me over the phone, doing one of those relay phone calls for deaf people. Conversation went:

    Operater Dude after explaining what the call was said the first quetion is: "can you give me the full desciption of the puppy?"

    Me: "what do you need to know?"
    Dude: "Great, would you like my email?"
    Me: "huh? umm, what would you like in the email?"
    Dude: "please provide your FULL name, address, and a PHONE# I can reach you at.
    Me: "what, you already have my phone #? is this for real?"
    Dude: "Caller has ended relay session, good bye."

    The call lasted about ten minutes, because of all the typing and operator mistakes. I can't believe they went this far, and wasted my time. I was in the middle of playing with my family, and had to shoosh them out of the room so I could hear this guy I thought wanted to by a puppy.

    Still though, that's too funny Erica.

    Crystal

  18. #18
    Birdyless Bird Lover Tailfeather raptorace's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    .ignore
    Last edited by raptorace; 10-24-2006 at 12:19 AM.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Proud to have been pappa to Sweety and Sky
    Sky, Sweety, you will always be in my heart.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  19. #19
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by avecbleu View Post
    OMG, you are too funny, I can't stop giggling. Your message back totally caught me off guard. I love it.


    This is one of the best response I've given them by far. His letter inspired it:
    Dutch Blue Lovebirds, taking ,.............extremely well preserved"
    Man. He set that up for me.

    Yes, you do have to be extremely careful dealing with these jerks. My computer and all of my internet accounts are registered to one Mr. "Archibald T. Roschtnestor III" (he's my cultured old millionaire alter ego). The T stands for Theodore -- like the chipmunk.

    I have read some horror stories from people who have given their addresses, only to be terrorized much more personally, and extorted.

    Have you ever gone into a place like Hoobly or PetClassifieds US and seen all of these guys trying to scam each other? Ha ha ha ha. That's gotta be awkward. "Huh? Um. You're my neighbor?" It's no wonder other pet sites can't get off the ground! Places like Up@Six and Birds n' Ways consistently have the least amount of scam traffic. Imagine the work they must do to keep it out!
    Last edited by Roscoe's Mom; 10-26-2006 at 10:21 AM. Reason: Bad quote command
    Tailfeathers Superstar

  20. #20
    All Hail Hypnotoad Teenager ZoologyGirl's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by avecbleu View Post
    Also about two weeks ago I got one of these people trying to scam me over the phone, doing one of those relay phone calls for deaf people. Conversation went:


    i'm a relay operator ...is there a crying smiley face?

    I'm just glad you had the sense to realize it was a scam
    Last edited by ZoologyGirl; 10-26-2006 at 07:13 PM.

    ~Heather~
    "If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." - Juan Ramón Jiménez

  21. #21
    Fledgeling Kerry C's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    If you have to eat your lunch at your computer desk and want some good reading in this area go to: http://www.bustedupcowgirl.com Her goal is to sell horses, but she got so tired of the scams over her e-mail that she has taken the scamers for a "ride!" Now others are getting in on the fun as well. It's very good reading while you enjoy your lunch!

    Kerry

  22. #22
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    Quote Originally Posted by Kerry C View Post
    Her goal is to sell horses, but she got so tired of the scams over her e-mail that she has taken the scamers for a "ride!"
    My letters back are quite a hit at my Mom's office, but she claims that "One day a Nigerian is going to knock on (my) door and 'pound the crap' out of," me. I tell her that he will not be able to do it unless he is "extremely well preserved and in all best condition."

    Thanks to you and callisto9 for the links. I'll check them out between classes. Thanks to everyone for sharing these funny stories. I can't read enough of them. I wish that a bunch of net people would get together to collect and publish a book of the best ones. I'd buy it.
    Last edited by Roscoe's Mom; 10-27-2006 at 08:43 PM. Reason: duplicate dependent clauses
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  23. #23
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Re: FUN! with Nigerian scam artists

    I just open the 419 eater link ... How often do wishes come true right away? There must have been a shooting star while I typed that last sentence.
    Tailfeathers Superstar

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