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Thread: I need a friend right now.

  1. #1
    Fledgeling AngelVroni's Avatar
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    Victoria E.A
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    I need a friend right now.

    I never expect relationships with me to last long. Family, friend or love, they just dont. Last night my dad seemed to have had a good day and all, but come night he was nose need in his vodka and had come into my room. He stated telling me that he was hearing me on the phone from 10-6am for the past week.

    For the past week we've had my sister and her boyfriend who gets up at 3am in the morning to smoke a cig and play his games on the computer. If I am up we talk a bit. I dont get to talk to him all that much either. My friend and I have been at war for two weeks over something important and neither of us would call or answer the phone at that hour. Willy my husband is ill and has to get up early for classes, so that would not be him calling, in fact my phone has not wrong at the period of time. What he heard was me and my sister's husband talking at that hour.

    I had (taz) my sisters husband go confess, sure to god he wont listen to me if I told him. I didnt even get a "sorry". He had got all over me that if I dont do anything hes going to throw ALL my stuff out. All of it. So this morning I got up and cleaned the house, not even a thank you till I said "your welcome". I would clean it more often but with the other two about and one that keeps going in and out to smoke and dragging things back in. How am I suppose to keep up?

    I asked him to please stop seeing me as my mother and treating me like her, cause I was not her. He kept rushing by and saying it wasn't that. I believe he was, after all, from what hes told she's like and from what hes told me he shes like, theres no difference. So I'm unwanted in both homes...

    I just want to be seen as me, I just want my own life. I looked into housing for the lower income and it'll take up to 3 years for me to get on the waiting list to get a apartment, then no telling how long after that till I get one. I was thinking suicide or going on welfare, neither are pleasing, but as far as I've been taught. I'm worthless. Dont any of yo ucall anybody or any ones "special friends" either. That only makes it worse...

    I just want my own life... and a friend...

    Staring Blankly at a knife,
    Vic

    ---

  2. #2
    Moderator Tailfeather Community Moderator notredamebird's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria, whatever the heck is going on, please do not harm yourself in any way. It feels sucky now, but life does get better. If you are considering that option in any thing like a serious way, please call a reliable friend or a hotline and talk to someone.

    If you need someone anonymous and distent from all this to chat with or vent to, you can find me on aol as the screename nhdanielle . Or you can PM me and we can talk somewhere else.
    Atrus---Wesley---Tolkien
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  3. #3
    Geaux Tigers!!! Tailfeather NeapolitanSixth's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria, do what you can to get yourself out of this unhealthy situation. You NEED to take care of yourself. Please don't harm yourself. I know how bad things may look right now, but you can always talk to us. Feel free to PM me or e-mail me (wingedquartet@gmail.com) or IM me (AugmentedMajor) if you need to talk more privately.

    -Nikki
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  4. #4
    has scurvy! Growing... mizpriz's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria, I am so sorry. I know what it feels like, having been in bad family situations myself. My dad was an alcoholic and I was also married to an abuser. You can PM me or email me through my profile if you need someone to talk to. You're never alone, from what I've learned about the people on this board is that there's always someone to build you up and help you when you need it. Suicide is never the answer. Right now you need to focus on the goal of getting self-sufficient and getting out of there. It may take a while, but baby steps and always having that goal will give you hope. Go to Alanon meetings, I can't stress that enough, it can be just as helpful as counseling and it's FREE! After you've gotten out, distancing yourself from your toxic parent is also a good idea.

  5. #5
    Hormonal
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria..life changes..sometimes imperceptibly sometimes suddenly
    sometimes we can do something to change it
    we dont have to be the victim of life
    make a plan...
    and u can make things happen
    and when u start thinking bad thoughts..simply stop..dont pollute ur mind...there are so many heartwarming stories of people who have made great lives for themselve and had nothing to start with
    people who have dragged themselves from awful circumstances
    its all about attitude
    why did some jewish people survive the holocaust..and others succumbed..apart from the obvious genocide there were chances for people to survive
    and those that did all had a common thread..attitude
    the key is to isolate urself from the situation ..bad things can happen all around u but it doesnthave to consume ur soul ur spirit
    think about telling ur story sometime to someone..someone is waiting somewhere in the world and will cross ur path..u will be able to help console another make a big difference..look for whatu can learn about urself as u battle ur way out...

    this will make u proud of urself and infinitely stronger for life...ur not alone...and the love of others is around u...reach out and start pulling urself out
    even if it takes three years...get on the list..look for ways to improve ur situation even if its another job or whatever...

    go for it... put the knife away ...take deep breaths and look at urself in the mirror...u can do it!!!

  6. #6
    Beeks
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria
    What part of Washington State are you in?

  7. #7
    Tailfeather Tailfeathers Supporter!Tailfeathers Supporter! Lovebirdfan's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria, you seem like you are in a bad situation and in a lot of pain. Please call the National Hopeline Network, at 1-800-273-TALK, or 1-800-273-8255. You have to begin somewhere, and this network can help give you the resources you need. Don't put it off. You do deserve better than you present circumstances.

  8. #8
    Fledgeling AngelVroni's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Thank you all for yr support,

    I know I am not alone but I cant do what I dont have resources for. Right now I should not b up righting this. I may be thrown out. Forgive me if I do not addle eggs but I dont want to depress myself even more then what I am. I'm in a cycle of pain, this is how my life has been. No jobs wants a person who doesnt have transportation and my husband wants me to have a job first. I moved out of my husbands house cause the fights were getting bad, and back into my dad's for shelter at his invite. Now things are going wrong here. I've put the knife away but only cried all night long, stirring with nightmares and deep thoughts. If I could get transportation to go out to get a job. I would.

    Believe me when I say I am not wanting to be here longer then I have to. I want out of this situation too. I've not tossed up a white flag but I've had to lower my weapons. The more I fight the more things get tensed up. Yes I'll write the number down. Though I doubt they're open at 3am. I am here typing this because everybody is asleep. I would go Alanon if I had transportation and knew where it was.^-^

    My nerves are a bit jitter right now I keep looking around. I've got free long distance in the US and if anybody wants my number I'll give it. I've got my own cell. If anybody is going to pull me out of this, its going to be, I know this, but there is a time to charge and a time to sit and wait. Right now I cant do anything with my husband going to school for 2 years and being gone 12-9pm weekdays. I'll have to give up this small fight and let things settle down a bit first before I give the charge.

    Hugs all around,

    Vic

    ---

  9. #9
    Brand New Egg BsBirdy's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    always remember that there is one friend that is waiting to see you every day. he loves you no matter what you have or have not done. he needs you, not just whoever. you have taken on the responsibility of caring for another life, dont let your feathered friend down.
    ps-
    alanon is a wonderful thing. look in the phone book for the number or call a local hospital for it. tell them you have transportation problems, they will help work it out

  10. #10
    Geaux Tigers!!! Tailfeather NeapolitanSixth's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria, the numbers Karen gave you are most likely 24 hour. May I suggest that you contact a local social worker too? They are not just for taking away kids from abusive homes...they help people in dire straits get better situated by helping them find housing (my husband used to work for the low income housing section of the government and I know how difficult it is to find anything, but a social worker might be able to help you find some non-profit organization halfway house for the time being). Social workers are here to help YOU. They will probably be able to talk to you about getting counseling, moving out, work, and a mode of transportation. I have a few friends in this field of work, and they do make a big difference in many lives.

    -Nikki

    P.S. I agree with Brenda! Your feathered friends think you hung the stars and the moon. Please remember that.
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  11. #11
    Brand New Egg
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Talking helps...sometimes. And if it's really serious, get help. I personally don't think you should be expressing your problems on the internet. I wouldn't want to do that...

  12. #12
    Tailfeather
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Victoria(angelvroni),please take the other's advice.There are always excuses for not doing things(no drive,no money...etc),truth is you just have to do it.Don't think about it.We as humans tend to analyze situations to death,talking ourselves into and out of things.Call a cab,take a bus.Take ownership of your life.You can do it.It may be hard but later you will be glad you did the hard stuff.

    Talking helps...sometimes. And if it's really serious, get help. I personally don't think you should be expressing your problems on the internet. I wouldn't want to do that..
    Hi Vicks080.This community is very close and caring.If a member needs to let things out,we are here to listen and help.

    Surrounded by people who love life, you love it too;
    surrounded by people who don't, you don't.
    ~Mignon McLaughlin

  13. #13
    Baby oihane's Avatar
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    Re: I need a friend right now.

    Hey there, I totally agree with everyone here...and you know I pretty much have the same opinion here...get out of this situation and take control of your life. I think you'll be so much happier being independent of your husband's family and your father. Like I said, you know what I have to say about all this...and I'm glad you're talking about it here, as people here know about a lot more resources and all that...I like Nikki's idea of a social worker personally.

    Hang in there hon, for yourself and your birdies. You'll be ok

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