Corrupt A Wish Game

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, you have straight lemon juice, you drink it by the gallons to get a good pucker face, lol.

I wish I had a break instead of working right up to the 24th!

[sammit]

granted. boss walks in "you're fired". feel better now?

i wish that the posties werent on strike

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, the strikes over but nothing gets done.
I wish I knew what posties were.

[sammit]

granted and all of wikipedia fills your head.

posties are our postal workers!

i wish that the book store didnt stuff up my order. send me an order docket saying im getting one thing and then have a different item show up a week later? seriously wtf?

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, instead of sending you something, you get nothing.

I wish I had a maid to clean up my apartment.

[jakeandnikko]

Granted, but while she is cleaning she finds all of your sentimental things and steals all of your stuff to sell it on ebay which you try to buy back but she stole your money too.

I wish I would get scheduled more hours at work!

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, they book you one more hour a year of work.

I wish I had a bigger apartment.

[sammit]

granted. you live in a giant mansion but you cant afford help so cleaning, cooking and fixing things is left all up to you..

i wish jelly snakes werent so stupidly addictive!!

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, now you can't even have a lick, they'll make you gag.

I wish I had some jelly snakes.

[sammit]

granted... except they grown up into a jelly anaconda and eat your neighbours dog...

i wish stomach bugs didnt last for a week.

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, they last a lifetime.

I wish that santa sig wasn't so gross, lol.

[sammit]

granted. you now have him as a boyfriend and think hes the sexiest person on earth! (dw, it will come down after christmas)

i wish that when hot chips went cold that they also wouldnt go gluggy!!!

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, now they go ultra gluggy on top of the original glugginess. For a supreme ultimate gluggy cold chip.

I wish I wasn't so awesome!

[sammit]

granted. you are now the only totally awesome person in the world who walks blindly into things and trips over their own feet every 20seconds.

i wish that butter toast wasnt so yummy when you are hungry

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, they arent't the least bit yummy when you are hungry, they sit in your stomach and roll around, popping up like its a toaster for hours.

I wish I wasn't taking naps in the evening after work.

[sammit]

granted except you nap on the way to work and end up driving your car up a tree.

i wish that nym wouldnt scream so much

[proud of my budgie]

Granted, nym screams so little, but your hearing improves 1000% so the screaming is infrequent but even louder than you can imagine.

I wish I had a nice deep sleep for once.

[Edd]

But you don't wake up! (uoh that is sinister)

I wish that daytime television will improve

[christopher robin]

granted, great programs come on tv now, but your tv has shrunk to barbie size and it hurts your eyes to watch it.

i wish there was good food in the house

[sammit]

granted but all you have is cooked green beans and tofu.. ewww!!!

i wish trevor didnt die.. i miss him so much

[proud of my budgie]

granted, but i don't know who trevor is

I wish I won the 25million dollar lottery.

[Edd]

but you become Donald Trump and start stealing beautiful scenery!

I wish he could pack up his stuff and bring his covetous ethics with him!

[sammit]

granted but he brings them to your place and follows you around telling your animals and friends that they arent worth the air they breathe.

i wish lunch was ready

[proud of my budgie]

Granted but your birds ate it, every last crumb.

I wish I was 4" taller.

[sammit]

granted but in a trade for the 4" taller you become 4" rounder as well!!

i wish slushies could last forever