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Thread: Fighting with the SO about the birds

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    Tailfeather Barb's Avatar
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    Fighting with the SO about the birds

    I know others deal with this...if your SO isn't into birds how do you placate them?

    What can we do to make the bird less stressful on those who don't appreciate their company?

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    Tailfeather di_dee1's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    I am so grateful that so far I do not have to live with this. I am though in a very similar position re a live away from home son and know only too well how these stresses make you feel the meat in the sandwich. Somehow, somehow you have to try and think out a win win situation, communicate with yr SO try and work out if you do.....with the birds he agrees to try and be less crital....or whatever you can come up with. A very hard thing to do but hopefully doable.

    Hugs.

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    Tailfeather Barb's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    Thanks Di, it has been stressful.

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    Tell me about it, lol. Different situation but you are not alone.

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    Toby the tiel Adult teddibear381's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    My SO is very grumpy when it comes to birds. What i tell his is "hey i'm a package, you either accept me and what ever comes with me or move on." he didn't like that very much be we're still together. ultimately i think anyone worth being with will accept you no matter what. but you also have to be understanding.

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    Me and my hubby have fought about boomers cheeping for all his 11 years of life and we still do now. He has gotten a bit better about it and now instead of just yelling at boomer to be quiet like he used to or worse throwing something towards his cage, he calmly gets up and carry's boomers cage to the bedroom and closes the door with boom in the room. I guess this is better then Boomer to hear him yelling but I still feel bad to go somewhere and come home and boomer is in the room alone, and sometimes the light is even off so he has no choice to be sleeping when John puts him in the bedroom.

    Boomer through out his years also has charmed John's heart and John really does love him but try's not to show us he does. We can tell though when boomer gets sick John's heart goes to mush and he too feels sorry for boomer then, John even holds him and scritches his head to make him feel better. Sometimes boomer will sit on his chair arm and look at him until finally John will put his hand on his chest and boomer runs up there and instantly rubs his head all over his hand, you can even see a smile on both of there faces because deep inside them big bad men are hearts that love there fids... they just got to accept it to know it. Boomer does all his own charming and usually it works because who couldnt love a fluffy cute thing staring at you hoping to get a scritch or two. Has your SO ever held the birds or given them a scritch? I know this is what made John decide boomer wasnt so bad after all because its hard not to love a fluffed happy fid.
    Fly Free Boomer, we will forever love you.

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    Tailfeather Barb's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    Quote Originally Posted by teddibear381 View Post
    My SO is very grumpy when it comes to birds. What i tell his is "hey i'm a package, you either accept me and what ever comes with me or move on." he didn't like that very much be we're still together. ultimately i think anyone worth being with will accept you no matter what. but you also have to be understanding.
    He has been very understanding, but it isn't fair for him to be miserable.

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    Tailfeather Barb's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    Quote Originally Posted by boomer girl View Post
    Me and my hubby have fought about boomers cheeping for all his 11 years of life and we still do now. He has gotten a bit better about it and now instead of just yelling at boomer to be quiet like he used to or worse throwing something towards his cage, he calmly gets up and carry's boomers cage to the bedroom and closes the door with boom in the room. I guess this is better then Boomer to hear him yelling but I still feel bad to go somewhere and come home and boomer is in the room alone, and sometimes the light is even off so he has no choice to be sleeping when John puts him in the bedroom.

    Boomer through out his years also has charmed John's heart and John really does love him but try's not to show us he does. We can tell though when boomer gets sick John's heart goes to mush and he too feels sorry for boomer then, John even holds him and scritches his head to make him feel better. Sometimes boomer will sit on his chair arm and look at him until finally John will put his hand on his chest and boomer runs up there and instantly rubs his head all over his hand, you can even see a smile on both of there faces because deep inside them big bad men are hearts that love there fids... they just got to accept it to know it. Boomer does all his own charming and usually it works because who couldnt love a fluffy cute thing staring at you hoping to get a scritch or two. Has your SO ever held the birds or given them a scritch? I know this is what made John decide boomer wasnt so bad after all because its hard not to love a fluffed happy fid.
    Yep, Hugo is very good with him (usually) and he wants interaction. Of course if I am in the room it is a no-go, Darwin acts like Hugo is a big scary monster. The problem with us is that Hugo has a very short fuse when it comes to the screaming and aggression, which I can understand. They frustrate the hell out of me too...but I am willing to overlook the issues easier.

    So Boomer doesn't throw a fit when he is moved to the other room?

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    First of, Deanna, that's sweet. I can believe that your hubby is bothers by a Lovie chirp!! I'd like to see how he does with my Nanday Pepper.

    I remember when we first got Lexie. My hubby and I used to fight about her all the time. He did not want her in the same room while he was eating, sleeping, ect. He's come around and now eats with her. Pepper is another story though. Hubby tells Pep all the time that he hates him. He'll always say something about the fids but doesn't ever included Pepper. It absolutly breaks my heart and I actually have gotten so upset about it to the point of tears. Their relationship is slowly getting better. I've spoken to him about it and when Pep is out, I just put Pepper on him and almost force them to spend time together. The sad thing is Pepper really wants to hand out with him. You should she his sad little face when the hubby gives kisses to Lexie and Sparky but skips Pepper completely.

    Barb, what's going on with your Hubby and the Fids? Maybe we can be more of help if we know what the specific problem is.

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    Surprisingly the birds are the one thing we don't fight about it. He knows not to cross that line. He knows that there are two things you don't do battle with me over - my human kids and my animal kids.

    However, I did make it a point to discuss each and every bird we have with him before they came home. I made a point of being very upfront and honest with him about their NEGATIVE points. That way if he ever did want to throw them up to me, I can calmly tell him he knew exactly what he was getting into and he AGREED to it.
    Even a small bird requires a large commitment!

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    This could be an answer, Hugo moves Darwin to another room when this happens, Hugo feels he has some control of the situation, Dawin may not like it and scream more initially but it would be muted and he may stop doing it when he realises this will happen EVERY time this happens with Hugo around. It won't kill Darwin, it will probably pee you off but it may help.
    Good one Deanna.

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    If anyone is bothered by a lovie chirp send them to my house for a day. Let them listen to the conure and the macaw. Let them listen to the amazon do her car alarm. I promise when my crew gets done with them, they will APPRECIATE a lovie chirp!

    **edited to add: Now that I think about Riley's car alarm immitation could pretty much make anyone appreciate ANY other sound ANY other bird made. lol
    Even a small bird requires a large commitment!

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    Tailfeather Barb's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    It could work...maybe we can set up a separate cage in the extra bedroom, because his cage is a PINA to move.

    I guess the specific problem is that he thinks Darwin is too attached to me and this causes him to flock call, attack, and be super needy. He says that Darwin screams every morning because he wants breakfast (because I give it to him) and he should be fine with his pellets. Screaming is a major problem, and it is pretty bad right now because we just had family leave. And lastly, the attacking everyone that comes over is a problem. He is very aggressive towards anyone other than Hugo or myself (screaming, biting, and general attacking). Almost everyone in Hugo's family has been bit, and it wasn't their fault at all...

    Thanks for all the replies guys, I really appreciate all the comments.

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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    I think a lovie chirp is one of the most pleasant chirps in the parrot world! Now Pepper's intention is to pee me off so much that I slam my head against the wall. Talk about loosking patience with someone after little sleep and a long day. Love him so much though

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    Tailfeather di_dee1's Avatar
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    Re: Fighting with the SO about the birds

    In your situation I would then move the bird to the other room too if this happens with others around, as much as I would like my bird there, we have to have a life too and can not let the bird run ours, especially if it causes problems with other family being bitten.
    Just my opinion though.

    My tiel is a very quiet one but not when he hears us, specificly hubby up and about in the morning, he flock calls madly till we have "checked in with him"

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