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Thread: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

  1. #1
    Breeding crouton's Avatar
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    seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    this is long, so please bear with me. i am hoping it garners some response - i would appreciate as much non-judgmental input as i can get.

    background:

    some of you may be aware that my ridiculously hormonal female PF lovebird, sally, and biko, my female parrotlet, have "bonded". i am not thrilled with the arrangement, but they chose it, i did not. they do not live together, but they spend time together in the lovie's house. if i had my druthers, they would not be as close as they are.

    neither of them have had the best life. we are sally's 3rd home (estimates place her at about 8 or 10 years old - i took her from a friend of mine), and biko was 'rescue' having been separated from her previous mate. it is a non-negotiable for me to rehome biko.

    neither of them are really hand-tame, but i hold out hope for biko, who is now about 3.

    okay, so here's my issue. spring is springing in our house, and sally is even more cage aggressive/vocal/whatever than usual. (i love the vision cage she is in, but my god, the food dishes being on the bottom of the cage only exacerbate her aggressiveness - she LIVES in the bottom corner of the cage, and i must fend her off with a stick in order to feed her). anything and everything becomes nesting material for her. this is not a recent thing - this is a 12-month a year thing for her. no offense to lovebird owners, but had i known she would be like this, i don't think i would've taken her on. me and female PF lovebirds are obviously not a decent mix.

    my parrotlet really doesn't care who she is with, as long as she has company. if i keep her out of sally's cage, she will go into the budgies' house and chill with them. her preference is sally, but the budgies are her original companions.

    in the last couple of weeks, sally has become desperate for biko's company. when biko is in sally's house, she is dominated by sally. sally does her horny dance with her. they huddle in the bottom corner of the cage and sally is very overbearing. sometimes they bicker, and sometimes biko concedes. watching them makes me feel sorry for biko, and stresses me out that much more cuz i just don't know what to do.

    i am now trying to REDUCE the amount of time together. this makes sally very antsy, and she makes it perfectly known thru her shrill lovebird shrieks that she wants biko in her house. (their cages are next to each other, so it's not like they can't see each other).

    is it possible for birds to become TOO bonded to each other? if so, do you have any remedy suggestions?

    biko is aggressive when she is around sally, but without sally, she may become more chillaxed. she really is a bird that needs company - and she doesn't seem picky about the company she keeps. someone actually suggested that linnies and 'lets can live in harmony, but i doubt i'll try that with my linnie.


    (sidenote: i have a family member that HATES the bird noise. hates it with a passion. unfortunately for him, the birds are in our family room, which is the main living area of our house, so there is no escape. with sally so obsessive now, she's screaming, and it's making us all walk on pins and needles. i was considering finding either a temporary housing arrangement, or a permanent one, but am not sure what it would do to biko. like i said, biko leaving is not an option for me.)

    is it a viable experiment to maybe move sally's cage to a different part of the house? not sure where i'd put her, and i can only imagine what her flock call would be like then - that's why and out-of-house thing came to mind.

    does anyone else feel my pain?

    p.s. sally was going ballistic again this afternoon, so she is now behind closed doors upstairs in my bedroom. not exactly fair for her
    Last edited by crouton; 02-26-2009 at 03:22 PM.

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    Baby gooddkittie's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    Wow, what a frustrating situation! So is Sally always aggressive with Biko, or is it just a temporary hormonal thing that popped up recently? If it's all the time, I hate to say this, but I would look into re-homing Sally. She seems to have relationship problems with other birds and may have an easier time being an only bird, or perhaps the opposite -an aviary bird.
    She seems to be really disrupting the harmony in your home. Putting her in another part of the house, in my opinion, could make her even worse, with less company, though still able to hear everything she's missing. Biko would get over it over time. She has the budgies for company, after all and she may appreciate not being obsessed over.
    So that's my opinion. I'm not being judgmental, I just think you all might be better off re-homing her.

  3. #3
    Breeding crouton's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    oh no, she's not aggressive with biko - sorry if i gave that impression - no, she is in LOVE with biko - biko is her chosen one - but i don't like the bond that strong. and hormones are making sally way more demanding and vocal..... does that clarify it? it's so hard for me to put in words, so i will do the best i can to clarify any questions.

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    First Clutch Hatching... Albe's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    I know this may not sound appealing, but maybe a lovie mate for Sally? Maybe she would be happier with a companion that could live in her cage with her. If not, rehoming her to a aviary environment may be in her best interest. To me she sounds like she needs some 24/7 companionship, that may be the only way she could be truly happy.


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    First Baby Hatched! parrotsRmyLove's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    I was going to suggest the same thing as Mell. A lovie mate to live in her cage with her. She is up their in age though if memory serves me correctly they live about 10-12 years. So that may be an issue.
    Do you know of a friend that can help you out or someone who may want to attempt to tame her. I hope you find a solution that works out for everyone involved. Lovies are loud, I have been offered pairs for free on many occasions and will not take them for that reason.

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    Breeding crouton's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    thanks guys, you're all saying pretty much the same thing as my thoughts..... sadly, putting thoughts into action sometimes is a b@tch. no way, no how would i ever bring in another lovie, so if putting her with another lovie is one of the "only" solutions, then it will be along with re-homing. the friend i got her from actually checked in with me a little bit ago - she knows i'm having problems with her (actually the same problems she had - over-bonding with a quaker) - anyway, she has a friend that will take her if necessary.

    my main concern throughout this is biko - but she is in the bugs' house right now, and sally is upstairs. i just was sitting with sally - i just feel guilty. i feel like such a frickin' failure.

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    Teenager moomooprice's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    Dont feel like a failure. Some times personalites dont click, and some times odd things make you or your home not sutiable for that partulare bird, but perfect or another. You are not a failure. You reconize that she is not happy where she is at, and you are taking action on that. In my eyes that makes you great sucess . It is harder to relize whats wrong and do something about it than turn a blind eye and do nothing. You are doing whats right by your birds and that makes you a good birdy mommy.

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    Tailfeather WyleeWhippets's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    Some birds just really prefer the company of other birds. I would find out if the person willing to take her has another lovie or is willing to get another lovie for her. I have a friend that had the same problem with his female PF lovie. He got a masked lovie and problem solved. They are perfect together.

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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    is Sally clipped?
    i find that helps a lot usually.

    otherwise i would be tempted to move her cage and only allow supervised playtimes.


    Thanks Lee for the adorable sig!

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    Breeding crouton's Avatar
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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    yes helen, she's clipped. it helps in her in some areas, but the nestiness, horniness, hormonalness - whatever you want to call it - remains regardless. the only thing clipping does with her is ground her - prevents her from getting into things that she shouldn't be getting into (you know, like flying under furniture, etc)....

    thanks for your comments so far

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    Re: seeking advice (somewhat desperately)

    Well, then. It seems like the only solution is to give her what her little body is screaming for. If you can't furnish it, then you may have to find someone who will. She wants a mate and a nest and babies. I think some of us humans can relate!

    I think you know the answer in your heart. Biko will be fine if you re-home Sally. She has company and she has you. It would take some getting over, but she has good friends and a loving owner. I'd worry a little about getting Sally a mate, though. Biko might be the odd bird out.

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