I don't think she likes me

[Nicole Perkins]

Kalia won't stay with me, I have to hold her in my palms with eyes covered to even think about stopping "crying". Yes I know she is afraid. As soon as I let her see and open the "cup" she takes off. Any tips?

Nikki

[Marrie]

How long have you had her? There is no reason to force a bird to be with you by holding them if they are afraid, holding should only be done for medicine/grooming/other needed purposes, unless the bird likes it. You need to earn her trust for her to want to stay with you and hang out, which is done by being patient and going at the birds pace, even if that takes months (or in some abused birds cases, years). Leave her door open to her cage, put treats and such she likes near you, don't force your attentions on her unless she is comfortable accepting them, work up to her eating out of your hand and teach "step up" - birds are not dogs and we have to be patient with them. You can try clicker training as well, it can help bonding.

[pixibubbles]

Agreed.
Sammy likes being groomed by us and will cuddle - BUT i only ever restrain him like that when I have no other choice - like dealing with a damaged blood feather or when he got food stuck in a nostril and was making him sneeze (don't ask lol)

Birds are truly amazing creatures - you can't tame them by establishing dominance like with a dog, or by physical size like a rodent. You have to work in partnership with your bird. try clicker training like Marrie said, but try bribery too. Make her WANT to be with you. With Sammy that meant I had the best toys and treats, and he only got them when he came to sit with us.

now he sits with us because he likes being with us (and for some reason likes my toes lol)

[Nicole Perkins]

I was just doing what the breeder told me to do I have had her 4 days now.
I can't just open the door, she will leave the cage, and because her wings are clipped (the breeder did this) she is on the floor and too small to be running around the floor. If I sit at the cage with it open and talk to her she sits in the back corner crying. She won't take a treat from me, and so far hasn't touched any of the toys in her cage.

nikki

[Marrie]

*sigh* Some breeders think it is best to "establish dominance" - but I dislike that practice immensely! She's probably less inclined to trust you because you have been holding her, be patient and prove to her you are not going to scare her - you'll have to start slow and sit by the cage and just talk to her until she understands she can trust you. Is her cage low to the ground on the floor, not on a stand or a table? Being low to the ground is actually stressful to a bird, if they are uncomfortable, they feel safer up higher - they also feel safer against a wall so they have a safe corner they don't feel they have to keep watch on all sides all the time.

When she gets used to you being near her cage and more comfortable, you can bring your hand inside her cage to get her used to that (keep cleaning the cage etc as normal though) just leave it perfectly still, 5-10 minutes at a time. You want her to learn you are not going to grab her, not going to hurt her, not going to scare her - a birds first instinct is anything or anyone new is a predator, since they are prey animals. After that, you can start offering treats, long sticks work best at first, then shorten the stick as she gets comfortable eating it. It can take a while, but if you respect her pace of trusting you and are patient with her, you'll gain a loving companion in the end.

As for leaving it open, if you are supervising, what is wrong with her coming out that way? You can bird proof an area and place obstacles in the area so she can't get beyond the bird proofed area. You can also put a ladder so she can climb back into the cage. My bird at first preferred to come out and roam around the floor and I just place cardboard boxes for a wall and put some towels down on the floor and he ran around on those to get comfortable with the house. When he first out of my hand, it was when he was on the floor and when he first stepped up, it was outside his cage - a lot of birds are more inclined to be less shy outside the cage than in, since the cage is their "safe spot" and some become territorial of it. If you have trouble getting her back inside, try a treat she likes place in the door, or to step up onto a perch instead of your hands (can also try that for getting her to come out), but if that doesn't work use a towel instead of your hands to lift her up and place her back in, so she doesn't continue to associate your hands with being picked up.

[Albe]

I have no problem with holding, if is gentle and the bird seems to be enjoying it. Since she doesn't seem to enjoy being in your hands I would suggest snuggling somewhere else. My birds like the nook of my arm, on my shoulder under my hair, and sometimes in the pouch of my hoodie! I would say that you should not stop using your hands with her, you want her to be comfortable with them, but you in no way want her to be scared or aggressive towards them, or you will have scars on your fingers when she gets older!! I have found that the key is slow but confident movements, too fast and the bird is scared, and if you are nervous then you get bit or they don't trust you. She is probably insecure because of her wings being clipped, which will hopefully make her feel more dependent on you.

[Marrie]

Oh, don't misunderstand me, holding is fine - after your bird is bonded with you, or if it is a very extroverted parrot. I hold my tiel to place him back in his cage, or check him, or sometimes just to move him because while it annoys him, he trusts me completely so isn't scared by it. And I know some birds like to cuddle into your hands, GCCs seem especially prone to that.

Edit: By the way OP, I am not criticizing you - you listened to the breeder, which you should be able to, it is no fault of yours at all. I hope you gain her trust soon and please keep us updated!

[Birdmanca]

Sounds like the bird is scared. You are much bigger than her, that is a main reason. Also, some birds never warm up to that handling. Even if you faithfully feed them, clean their cage, and do everything else for them, some birds, just do not want you to touch them.

[Jasperboy]

I know exactly what you are talking about.. I have a parrotlet and he doesn't bite. He will soon be 3 years old and very laid back..welllll.. 4 days ago i got a cockatiel.. needless to say that little burger just about bit my fingers off..he never moved, he never ate or drank for 2 days..i just keep going over to the cage and talking with him. now he moves around. plays with his toys. eats drinks.. i got me some gloves and now i can get him out. he don't fly like he did, and he steps up..I keep him out about 10 minutes and than i put him back in the cage..I wait about 1 hour and i go get him again. he is doing great..i think yours will come around..I was wondering how long it took to train the cockatiels to talk.. My parrotlet talks and i forgot how long it takes..my tiel is 8 months old they said..

hope all goes well.

[Janessa Mahoney Barrette]

My first lovebird, Phoenix, didn't trust me for a few weeks. She would freak out when I put my hand in the cage at all. For about ten minutes at a time, a few times a day, I would take a chair, sit in front of her cage, put my hand in, and just leave it there completely still. At first she would always go nuts, but eventually she would relax. Then I moved onto offering her millet, doing the same thing. Slowly, she decided the food was more important than being afraid. A few weeks after getting her, I sat in front of her cage and read a book aloud to her, and I left the cage door open. She came out after about twenty minutes, sat on the top of the book, and started eating the pages That was when I knew we were really getting somewhere. It just takes time and patience.