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  1. #1
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Scareca
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    Baby Registry Frustration!

    I have to preface this thread by stating that I am grateful for any gifts I get for the baby at all. Some wonderful people have spent their money on very thoughtful gifts already, including an adorable pair of 0-3 mo booties from my friend Robin who posts here occasionally, and who I have been emailing for a few years. It warms my heart that my baby girl has so many friends and extended family.

    Now here is my concern:

    I am having two showers. Joe's mom is throwing me one and my mom is throwing another the next day. I have felt for some time that starting a registry is sort of presumptuous -- I suppose because an overgrown delinquent cousin of mine who keeps squeezing out kids is always sending out gift solicitations with her registry information printed on them, and it is all I can do not to call her and explain that she's lucky we don't all box up our garbage and send it to her for all the gratitude she ever shows us. (I know that sounds harsh but she is rude and absent from all family functions that don't include gifts for her, I have never heard her say thank you to anyone once.)

    My mom convinced me that my situation is a bit different, and that I shouldn't feel guilty over telling my guests the things I will need. So I registered at Walmart.com, since they offer low prices and convenient free site-to-store shipping that will be easier on my guests' wallets than paid shipping. My mother printed out an insert with the registry information and affixed it to the invitations she & I sent out nearly a month ago.

    The shower is in 4 weeks and I have checked my registry once a week to get a feel for what I still need to buy. To date I have received one monitor (a gift I asked my father to buy Arden, since it was too expensive to expect from anyone else) and a pack of receiving blankets.

    Time is ticking away and I REALLY desire some of this stuff. I want to start buying it up myself so I will be prepared, since some of those supplies and accessories will make raising her in a cramped one-bedroom apartment for six months much easier. Almost everything on there is $20 or less, so if I buckle down now I can still fix my air conditioner, buy my air purifier, pay all my bills and buy up all 30 or so items on the registry in time for her arrival.

    I'm trying not to tax my budget unnecessarily but I'd like to be prepared. Should I just eke out enough to live and save all of my money until after the shower, so I can buy this stuff for myself? Or is last minute shower shopping so common that I'm worried prematurely?

    I kind of feel like I screwed up depending upon my guests to get me anything I'll actually need. Now I am down to the 11th hour, and I am really freaking out. A lot of them aren't exactly loaded, and I'm just happy they plan upon showing up to celebrate with me. I feel like the gifts should really be incidental.
    Tailfeathers Superstar

  2. #2
    Administrator Tailfeather Community Administrator
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    Marie
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    Re: Baby Registry Frustration!

    If your friends are like me, 4 weeks before a shower, I haven't even begun to think of buying a gift. My mother is even worse, she buys her shower gifts the day before the shower. I would put some money aside if you need all those things, so if some things aren't bought you won't do without, but you'll likely get more gifts before the 4 weeks is up.

  3. #3
    Snuggled, not stirred Teenager BridgeyRoo's Avatar
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    Bridget H. Shea
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    Re: Baby Registry Frustration!

    My friend had her baby shower a few weeks back and I was very grateful for the registry! In addition, you having the registry makes returns THAT much easier...trust me, registries are not presumptuous, particularly if you put many price-ranged items on there. Anyhow, I went to Babies-R-Us maybe 3 weeks prior to her shower and there was SO much left on her registry, but by her shower an incredible amount of the items had been purchased. I think that because it is different than a wedding where you have the shower and the wedding versus just the one event, people wait until much closer to the main event to purchase. Hang in there!

  4. #4
    Breeding Roscoe's Mom's Avatar
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    Scareca
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    Re: Baby Registry Frustration!

    Okay, so I'm controlling myself: I'm only checking once a week. This is tough for me, since I am a meticulous planner (or a "control freak", if we must make it sound like a bad thing). Still only 2 things out of 30, and I just found out that one of those purchases arrived at my Mom's house with a note explaining how my childhood best friend cannot make it and wishes me well.

    I'm a little worried nobody will show up now, too. Most of my friends live all over the map. They've all sent their affirmative RSVP's, but I've seen things like this happen before. One of my favorite cousins rented a church banquet hall for hers in November and only 10 or so people actually came. She was really hurt.

    I haven't had an emotional pregnancy until recently. I'm sure some of this apprehension is misdirected birth anxiety. But I also feel like despite myself I built up this idealized expectation of what I would do for her the first 6 months, and of all of the things I would have to make our first several months together easier, so even though some of the registry items aren't essential I really feel like I need them.

    My remedy for now is a nice, hot cup of raspberry zinger tea.
    Tailfeathers Superstar

  5. #5
    Hatched! Pipers Mom's Avatar
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    Carolyn
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    Re: Baby Registry Frustration!

    Erica,
    I have to agree with Bridget. I went to a baby shower just over a year ago. When my friend and I looked at the registry which was about 10 - 12 days before the shower, it still had many items on the list. People do wait much closer to the event before making any purchase.

    I hope you are enjoying you hot cup of raspberry zinger tea.. It's a great remedy!!

  6. #6
    Has Grown Children maxollie's Avatar
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    Ellen
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    Re: Baby Registry Frustration!

    Hi, Erica, Some folks wait until the baby is born to give gifts. Perhaps those who don't give gifts for the shower will surprise you and give you a baby gift when she arrives and has come home from the hospital with you. And also, sometimes people give money and/or gift cards after the baby arrives. In the meantime, I know you will enjoy the baby shower no matter what gifts you might get. Usually, newborn babies grow out of the very small clothes so fast, you may not even get to use some of them. If you have fewer clothes for her in the beginning, you can buy new ones periodically, according to her weight gain and growth. I'm sending a big hug, "good luck" and God's blessing to you and little Arden. It won't be long and the two of you will meet for the first time!! That will be a glorious day, for sure!
    Last edited by maxollie; 04-14-2012 at 07:22 AM.

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