I'm introducing myself

[Averlus]

Hello, I never know what the heck I'm supposed to write in these things.

32 years old.
Retired disabled veteran.
Divorced.
Two kids.
Brand new bird daddy.

I adopted 4 budgies about six months ago; one for each member of the family. I didn't know until after the fact that if you do that, they'll never bond to you. Mine only pay any attention to me if I have millet lol. I still talk to them every day, feed them, sing to them, and sit directly next to their cage for hours, sometimes reading my book out loud to them. I'm a disabled vet, what else am I going to do? Lol.

Their names are Vergil, Stan, Owen, and Wendy. Stan white with the most subtle of blue and is really skittish in his cage. Vergil is the blue version of the wild budgie and seems to be pretty laid back. Owen is black and gray and is generally curious. He's usually the first to come to me for treats until Stan chases him off. Last but not least, Wendy is pied. She's white with a blue spot on the left part of her chest and another big one that covers her back. Hey wings completely hide it until she flies. She's also antisocial. I often find her by herself or on the opposite end of my blinds, or in a different room. She's also somewhat skittish and very protective of her food.

I'd post a picture of them but apparently that's not something you can do here.

This is supposed to be an introduction for myself but really all I did was introduce my bird babies.

[maxollie]

Hi, and welcome to the community. Go to home page. Click on gallery on top of page. You should be able to upload picz there. You may need to get a tiny pic account, which is a website where you post your pics there, and then upload them from tiny pic to your gallery. We can see the pics there once you upload them!

Congrats on bringing the budgies into your home! They are awesome birds who give you company 24\7!

[boomer girl]

Welcome to being a "parront" to 4 little cuties!! I birdsat for 5 little budgies who I talked to all the time because they were not very social either and I think both me and the birds had a great time while they were here. I think they actually might just bond with you if you keep on talking to them and also giving them treats through the cage bars. Treats is the way to many bird hearts and they work in time to get them to come sit on your hand and eat the yummy treats.

Thank you for serving in the military and I am sorry to hear that you are now disabled.

[Averlus]

Why thank you! I've tried to do one on one sessions with them but good luck with that! I followed my girlfriend's advice and just left the cage door open. Now whenever I open it to do anything, they escape. They're SO fast!

As I write this, I managed to get Vergil closed off into my room. They love flying all over the apartment! I usually keep my doors all shut so they stay in the living room.

Anyway, I'm not terribly sure one on one will be effective in this situation since they contact call each other through my walls whenever I manage to get one separated!

Anyway, I got some pictures uploaded to my gallery.

[boomer girl]

They are adorable little birds!! You certainly will be very entertained and busy with these 4 little birds! They are sitting on your hand so to me that is great and keep on giving them millet in your hand and before long they will be coming closer to you. It has to be hard with 4 birds because it is even hard with just one bird getting them to tame down and become people birds. Tikki my daughters conure will come sit with you and sometimes let you pet him but he very much wants to fly around or sit way up high somewhere away from us. He comes right down to eat or take a bath but is very independent. Boomer was 100% a people bird and just wanted to sit on a persons shoulder or snuggle with you, he was that way from babyhood onwards. Hopefully one of your four cuties will decide to be a people bird as well for you.

[Averlus]

I'm beginning to think I made a mistake. I've only had them since February but they still ignore and fly away from me. I interact with them every day like I previously started earlier. Offering food and treats doesn't work anymore. They won't eat from my hand. It's like they're going in the opposite of taming! Should I buy individual cages for them to separate them? Maybe I'd be able to interact with them one by one. My concern is they contact call each other and still ignore me whenever I've tried it before. I don't think it'll work because they all go into the same cage. How do you separate birds that refuse to be apart? Or leave their cage when I want to retrieve one? They don't freak out when I try to retrieve them but they make it very clear they want nothing to do with me.

It's a big door to the cage so they often shoot out like a flipping cannon whenever I try to feed them or interact with them. I've tried speaking softly, moving slowly, using one of their own perches...I never raise my voice or try to hurry them because it only makes it worse. None of it works. I feel I'm starting to resent them and I think that they can sense that and want nothing further still to do with me. These are supposed to be my emotional support animals but they're not being very supportive haha... Anyway it's making me depressed to the point where I've considered just leaving them in their cage and just taking care of them that way...

EDIT: They freak out now when I come near the cage. I don't understand. I don't yell at or around them, I move very slowly, I still talk to them and try to offer food... two of them bit me.

[maxollie]

Birds that are bonded together like these two, often spend their time together p!aying with and focusing on each other, and quite honestly this is pretty normal behavior.

Are you limited to having only four birds? If not, I suggest you get another cage, and choose another species such as a male cockatiel. I would not recommend female birds because they can lay eggs, and that becomes a real challenge. Are there any bird rescues or adoption agencies for birds in your hometown area? If you do this, then that bird would not be bonded to any other bird, and the two of you could become great friends. I would get a male, and be sure it is at least 4-6 months old.

[Averlus]

I've got 4. They rammed into me earlier today when I opened the cage to feed them. Two nights ago Owen refused to go to bed and last night it was Wendy. She ended up sleeping on top of the blinds in my room and started contact calling as soon as I went into the other room and uncovered the cage. That's when I got rammed into. I see all these videos online of people with multiple budgies perched on them and being affectionate and it just... Blows my mind.

[maxollie]

I would suggest you cover their cage at night, with a lightweight blanket or sheet. Usually covering calms them. Leave on!y a few inches on the front uncovered, and keep a night light on in the room. That might work for you.

[beautifulbudgies]

If youre having trouble getting the birds to go back in the cage, I would suggest dimming the lights and putting a single source of light near their cage. Then its just a matter of getting them to go towards the light without scaring them.

[gimaal]

Welcome and thank you for your service.

A lot has to do with how the birds were raised before you got them. Some of those videos you see on line are budgies that were hand-raised from a very early age and are thus easier to tame. Budgies that come from a pet shop or some breeders who don't 'work' with the birds when young do not have that experience and will be a greater challenge. That said, your reading to them and spending all that time with them may well be rewarded.

Have you tried using a perch or stick to get them to 'step up'? They might be more responsive to that rather than your hand. If they do respond to that, it will make getting them back to the cage at night much easier. Hold the stick/perch in one hand and keep a reward treat handy in the other.

[Averlus]

Okay, here's what they will do.

Vergil: steps up for half a second before hopping off, but only in the cage. Never out of the cage. He'll let me touch him pretty much wherever I want with my finger, even outside the cage. Just no step up. He'll nibble on my fingers in and out of the cage. He's the one I pay the most attention to since he's "my" bird. When I got him on day 1, he perched on my finger outside the cage for several minutes. This was once and only once. Rammed into the sliding glass door when I opened his box. Then immediately flew to the cage I had set up.

Owen: my son's bird. No step up, no touch. Moves away from the hand in the cage initially. Occasionally nibbles in and out of the cage. Usually the first to jump to a feeder cup in hand until Stan knocks him off. Seems to be the most energetic and playful. And bravest. Was tail bobbing sick on day 1so he went back to the store and I re-bought him two weeks later when he was better. Pretty sure I saved his l life because I've convinced myself no one else would've noticed and he would've died. The pet store certainly didn't notice until I pointed it out in other birds as well.

Stan: my girlfriend's bird in name only since she's hardly around. No touch, no step up. He did the same thing as Vergil on day one when it comes to finger perching but for far less time. Afterwards he's the most nervous, much like his "owner". He didn't ram into the door, instead he flew into my room and hid behind the blinds in my window. He can be persuaded to eat from the hand eventually when he's not busy staying away from you. He'll move to the other side even if you're six feet away. He's the strangest one in the bunch in that regard. He'll nibble if he sees the others do it inside and out.

Wendy: my daughter's bird. No touch, no step up. She's almot as anti-social as Stan. She'll nibble occasionally once she's done moving away from you in the cage but usually after she sees others do it in or out of said cage. Aggressive with food towards the others and will not share a cup in hand. Very introverted compared to the other three and will often stay in the cage, perched on the far end of the window blinds from the others, or in another room entirely for hours. Anti-social Wendy is anti-social.

They all move away from perch or perching finger outside the cage. Only responds to food, unless they're being buttheads. Vergil, although he won't perch, will let you touch him with only the point of your finger. When wants you to, but he's usually pretty amicable to it. Until he's not. That's also when he'll nibble, which occasionally spurs the others to do so. My kids often leave doors open and lights on, so if they get the chance they'll go into another room away from you and stay there. Attempts to flush them out always fail because they'll fly from one set of blinds to the other back and forth, back and forth. Or they hide inside the lamp fixture in the ceiling fan.

Sometimes I think I've finally made progress until they revert back to older behavior. It's just so so soooooo frustrating because I don't just spend a couple hours with them. I spend days at a time with them and often for several hours with their cage within a foot of me. I have a diagnosis of PTSD, depression, anxiety, and a chiari malformation. I guess that's the price of being an infantryman for 15 years and three combat deployments. So unfortunately for me, feelings of rejection hit me pretty hard sometimes.

[beautifulbudgies]

...My kids often leave doors open and lights on, so if they get the chance they'll go into another room away from you and stay there. Attempts to flush them out always fail because they'll fly from one set of blinds to the other back and forth, back and forth...Sometimes I think I've finally made progress until they revert back to older behavior. It's just so so soooooo frustrating because I don't just spend a couple hours with them. I spend days at a time with them and often for several hours with their cage within a foot of me. I have a diagnosis of PTSD, depression, anxiety, and a chiari malformation. I guess that's the price of being an infantryman for 15 years and three combat deployments. So unfortunately for me, feelings of rejection hit me pretty hard sometimes.

I want to say thank you for your service. I think its more that understandable that you get discouraged; however, its important to remember that these birds are just following their basic instincts. They have fight or flight responses just the same as you do, and with birds theyll always pick the flight option. Its their biological imperative, not a judgement against you. One thing that I benefit from is attacking my emotions with logical statements, which is why I am mentioning their instincts. Its just biology when you get down to it. Also know that progress is not always linear, so if you feel as if your birds are 'reverting' it may be a small step backwards that leads to a bound forward.

One thing I'll mention is that when doors are left open you may not be aware of where your fids are so they could wind up flying to your front door and getting out. Or if you have a cieling fan on in one room and your budgies get in there they could be seriously harmed. Do you have any other pets? Another consideration is that a dog or cat could be trying to 'play' with your birds and hurt them fatally, even without intention.

[Averlus]

I've no other pets and I do my best to keep the doors closed now. My kids know it's a rule but, like kids, they will occasionally forget.

[marroqui]

Hi Averlus and nice to meet you! Even though I don't live in the USA, I would like to say you are brave for serving your country. Also thought I would note, I'm the same age as you! Yay 80s kids!

I would have to agree with Amber, in which birds just have the instinct of fight or flight responses. We humans are all larger than them and when they are not hand raised, it can take them time to get used to being around humans and to learn that we are not predators that will eat them up. I think it is harder to tame birds when you have more than one. That being said my partner first got lovebirds 2.5 years ago, and three of them at the same time. Mine are not tame as they were from aviaries. They don't step up, but there is improvement. They know who I am. If I walk into the room they will not flinch like they did when they first came (unless they know they are doing something naughty lol). I can change their food and water bowls without them climbing up to the top of their cage to hide from me or flapping everywhere. I can hold something they like to them and they will come over to me to take it. This only started happening probably about a year ago. Since then we've gotten more birds, and one of the lovebirds Kovu seemed semi-tamed and was never afraid of us, and it is possible that the others learned from watching her interact with us. But I think it is also because they have learned that we will not harm them and that takes time for them to learn.

In the past, they would climb to the top of the cages to hide and wait until I was done cleaning their cages. I could not give them anything by hand either. However, they still do not step up and if I try to get them with my whole hand they will run away from me. I think all birds are afraid of whole hands, even tame ones. If I show them my finger only, they want to bite it lol. When I let them out of their cages for playtime, beforehand I had to use a net to catch them and put them back inside. Now I just point to the cage and start to put my hand up to them and they know that means it is time to go back inside and will fly away from my hand to go back inside their cages.

I still have two lovebirds that seem to have gotten more fragile though and seem even more afraid than when they first came about 2 years ago, my lovebirds nala and iki. They are quite timid. I just let them be. As long as they are happy and healthy, I just adore listening to them make their cute sounds all day and interact with the other birds. I like to pretend that I am a part of the flock too and I make their noises back to them.

Just thought I would share my experiences and hope it gives you comfort in knowing that it might take time but your birdies will get used to you. I know it is hard when you see online youtube videos of others with these hand raised birds who step up and interact with their owners all day long. But I think you would be a great bird parent. You mentioned you spotted that one of the budgies wasn't feeling well and that no one else noticed. That is proof that these budgies will do well with you because you noticed a red flag when no one else did. If you have the patience, I think eventually they will come around. I'm also home all the time and always with my birdies. I think it helps them if you are around them regularly no matter how long it takes. However, if you are wanting a bird that will interact u and be more tamed immediately, perhaps you could get one that is already hand raised? However, when reading your posts of what's happening I would think you are actually already making progress! Especially with Vergil! Definitely more progress than I have made in 2.5 years Keep doing what you are doing and I really think they are slowly going to get even more used to you.

I look forward to seeing more updates on them!